Jesus Last Words are such and amazing Study this time of year. My boss wrote this amazing book to help us all go there…
But for Fun today while at Stu’s Book Signing At Gullion’s (see flyer below)
What might your cars last words be???
1. The Way you are driving is so perplexing please watch the road instead of texting
2. My engine is feeling frictionally strange perhaps 15,000 miles ago my oil should have been changed.
3. Driving in a frenzy you look so hyper all I need is some new windshield wipers
4. Please take me to the shop I feel so nervous it’s been 20,000 miles since my last service
5. Pull over right now. What are you thinking don’t you see my red temperature light is blinking.
6. Slow down, slow down I’ll never stop pleading because you could kill someone with all of this speeding
7. Drive by the rules the risks are well know if you please just drive and stay off of that phone
8. Watch your back the risks are well known rear ending is common when in a work zone
9. Hitting the gas doesn’t seem very bright when entering an intersection with a yellow light
10. Watch out watch out this could mean my wake you just hit the gas instead of the brake
11. What’s that vibration you’re giving me the shakes isn’t it time that you were checking my brakes
12. My value to you too soon expires if you don’t see I driving on badly bald tires
13. You’ll soon be buying a car that is fresher if you don’t take a look at that gauge called oil pressure
14. You are following to close I’m just stating it will be the end of us if you keep on tailgating
15. You and I will never reach old age if you don’t get a handle on your frightening road rage
16. Six feet down we both will drop if you can’t seem to fathom that a read light means stop.
17. The end draws near and we’ll be together if you don’t slow your driving in all this bad weather.
18. My fenders my hood you will soon be bashing if you cross that line with your unsafe passing
19. With body shops and Insurance you’ll soon need assistance when passing trucks with that kind of distance.
20. When getting gas the consequences are dire for getting back in your car will cause a static fire
21. Your affection for me may soon be bereft if you don’t keep your wheels straight when you go to turn left
22. Not turning around your sure to crackup when parking lot driving as you backup
23. The length of our life will sure be lousy if you don’t get some sleep and keep driving drowsy
24. The junk yard and grave yard will soon be populated with your habit of driving while you’re intoxicated
25. My days are done it would appear for you weren’t alert at dusk and watching for deer.
Some Notable Last Words:
1. Watch This…
2. Trust Me.. I do this all the time
3. What Happens if I press this button
4. Hey, Watch This
5. Lieutenant Wilde I have a good feeling about this cruise
6. Aye Captain Smith she’s a fine vessel completely unsinkable
7. The Iron Horse is getting close
8. On Second thought I’m pretty sure I got this
9. “Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.”
10. I told you I was sick
11. I’ve never felt Better
12. I knew this would happen
13. This is a sharp medicine…but a sure remedy for all evils Sir Walter Raleigh
14. That was the best Ice cream soda I ever tasted..Lou Costello
15. All my possessions for a moment of Time Queen Elizabeth I
16. They couldn’t hit an elephant at that distance _ General Sedgwick
17. That’s All Folks _ Mel Blanc
18. I will not be right back after these messages “Merv Griffin
19. There Goes the Neiborhood “Rodney Dangerfield
20. Ma Loves Pa, Pa Loves Women, Ma caught Pa with two in Swimin..here lies Paw
21. I made a lot of deals in my life but I went into the hole on this one…
22. Rex You were our Pride and Joy until that Asian asked to wok our dog
23. When I die I want my tombstone to offer free Wi-Fi so more people will hang around
24. Here lies Wendel Bender he rode to glory on a fender
25. I know Karate
26. At Last A Hole in One
27. June M. Wingo “The shell is here but the nut is gone”
28. “Ok, ok, I’ll come. Just give it a moment.” Pope Alexander the VI
29. Only you have ever understood me. … And you got it wrong..
a. Who: Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel, to his favorite student.
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